Sabe's story

Sabe got in touch with us to reflect on the way she feels other’s attitudes have changed towards her as she’s become older.

Sabe is a consultant specialising in international trade, especially south Asia, based in London.

“In a previous workplace my age suddenly became a talking point when it became common knowledge because of a travel booking. People were surprised, and it felt like things had changed from being treated as just one of the team.”

“People’s reactions, once they know your age, are different from how they’d be if they weren’t aware of your age. Even from 65, when I didn’t think anything had changed, others did. They might suddenly start asking when you’re planning to retire, when you had no plans to retire! Why do they ask if you haven't mentioned it? There’s an expectation that others have of you at certain ages.

“I would identify that as ageism, because that’s what it is, isn’t it, even if they didn’t mean it unkindly.

I feel it around technology. I think I’m pretty satisfactory with tech, but people ask, ‘can I help you with that’ or say, ‘you should do it that way’. It’s the little things, the preconceptions that people have about you.

“One manager during meetings seemed to especially target me to remember people’s names, as though checking that I was still able to recall them or whether I might be becoming a potential liability!

“I think society has views on what you should be doing at certain ages in life. For example, asking someone why they don’t have children in their 30s. It’s difficult not to feel that you should be playing your part.

“Women are more vulnerable to this, I think, in general as well as at work. It’s ok to be a little old granny, but if you try to do other things, get involved, speak up, it’s not acceptable. It’s as though you’re expected to retire not just from the workforce but life.”

“Managers need to value the experience that older people can offer, not feel threatened by them,” continues Sabe.

“There’s a shortage of skilled workers in the UK, but there are plenty who are a little bit older who have lots to offer who are being overlooked or not enabled to work. It’s a pity, as lots of knowledge and older talent is being wasted. Workplaces need to offer more part-time work or job-shares for older people, it’s not just about accommodating childcare needs. Work is important or a necessity for many older people too, and it can be another social outlet."